(2 min read)
Birthdays are for some an incredibly important and happy occasion, the celebration of the day we arrived to this life is for many one of the most important days in the year (if not THE most important). For some others, it is just a date to get through and don’t think much of it.
Throughout the world there are many traditions around celebrating birthdays, most of them involve gifting, singing, hugging, some sort of sweet treat and a ritual that goes with its consumption. Through the decades as we have grown more global and have exchanged cultural heritages, several expressions of celebrations have crossed over and been adopted by almost everyone. This is the case with birthday cake.
I find it very interesting how this tradition doesn’t seem to get old, no one questions its top value in the birthday celebration category and its absence leaves a hole that almost banishes the occasion completely. It’s incredible how much a moment with a treat can mean. It seems to be the crowning moment of the year that has just passed, and represents either the “yei, another year!” or the “uf, another year!”.
Large, tall, creamy, colorful, sweet or super sweet, there are all sorts of cakes. Funny enough, this is something that you can literally have at any time, they sell them to you when it is not your birthday, yet cake is mostly reserved for this occasion only. As if having it at a some other time would strip it of its magic powers.
At times people have a childhood favorite they crave and have every year, others go for a new adventure from the hottest new bakery, some end up with a last minute whatever was on the shelf; perhaps even a pie, a cupcake or ice cream, if you are a rebel. And oftentimes it boils down to a slice of whatever they serve in the restaurant you happen to be celebrating at.
Then usually with the cake also comes the singing, the awkward moment were rarely any natural abilities show up and it’s more of a can’t-wait-for-it-to-be-over sing along. Particularly in restaurants, it is hard enough to hear your family or friends “sing”, let alone strangers who get thrown into a sort of Talent Show in the middle of their work shift. The reaction of the burning cake recipient is usually priceless, either one of joy and expectation or slight annoyance, as there are those who can’t have enough of the attention and feel super special and then there are the others who are visibly just wishing to disappear under the table.
For almost 40 years, since I started to celebrate some of my birthdays in restaurants, I have been sung at, loudly, in a whisper, quite cute and mostly terribly. When singing was off the table, a loud celebratory song was played on the sound system. Some places I guess you would say went the extra mile and have given me funny hats or took time to make special decorations. But what unequivocally came every time was a slice of cake or cake-equivalent with a burning something. At times it was delicious, others not so much (sad to report, that mostly was very unremarkable). Many times I saw it as one of the desserts on the menu, which is not very special, but surely a safe bet. Usually the dessert that is chosen to be an impostor is the one that could pass as cake.
It is curious that all these years we have innovated so many things in restaurants, we have revolted and evolved many of the elements of the dining experience, but this one seems to be one we have not cracked down very well and have just stuck to what has always been done. The only upgrade the celebratory cake has received in most places in the last years, is writing on the plate the name of the guest or the occasion and switching the shy candle for a bold sparkler.
The truth is that the true quality of a place will be found in the less obvious places, in the minor aspects that only an honest dedication to high standards will give attention to. In the case of a restaurant, I believe two of the strongest tellers of culture are the bathroom and the celebratory “birthday cake” (in whatever version or format it is presented). These two things that are expected to be had, free of charge, in all levels of pricing tier or specialty. The place can literally present them in however shape or form they choose as long as they are offered. Therefore going into design or concept details, assigning resources, giving it thought and attention, or even allocating a budget, says a lot about the principles by which the place is built and run. If it is intentional and caring or an afterthought, it will show.
Funny enough, these seemingly minor aspects or accessory elements of an experience, when done really well, or even better, when performed in a unique way, could be more memorable than the food or drinks themselves. As for birthday parties, coming up with a way that will enchant those who desire all the attention and joy of the special day, and also celebrate the shy ones who appreciate the love but not so much the noise and spotlight, is important.
So, please, let’s all come up with something new and special. Find it in you to resist the automation of singing for the 300th time, the same boring wailing song with a slice of cake to get it out of the way. Come up with a version where you not only acknowledge the milestone but also show the gratitude that your location will now be part of someone’s personal history forever. Your place will forever be the place where they spent their X bday, take pride in that and make it special.
Regardless of the feelings one can have about getting older, being alive is already a reason for celebration and joy. Every year, whether it was great or a tough one, birthdays are a reminder of the time passed and the time ahead. Desirably, is a day for hope, for purpose. Expressing the thoughtfulness that went into joining the festive mood will deliver a proper hug.
